So I decided when we went into this lockdown (my second one… so far) and it seemed the end date wasn’t so clear anymore, that this would be another great time to distance myself from the online community. I also decided to stop listening to the radio and watching live television for the remainder of this time too, so I can fully immerse myself in the idea of being ‘locked down”.
I must say, it was quite pleasant. Trust me, I love people and I love to socialise. But I also really enjoyed my little bubble, living in a magical fairyland where I can forget Covid exists. Bumping into people in the supermarket, just happy to leave their house, exchanging smiley eyes over our mask covered mouths. As soon as it goes from in person contact to virtual reality, something shifts in the atmosphere and I no longer feel like im connecting with peers and the same way. I mean duh, right? But no we forget and somehow our minds trick us into believing that this is the same and a normal way to communicate and interact with one another – I beg to differ.
My Instagram was nothing but spreading negativity, cries for help, and unfiltered and impulsive thoughts that people used to wake up the next day after blacking out and apologising for but instead now promote it because of the encouragement and support of others who agree (and mind you probably never knew your last name but somehow you are now technologically connected for life). What happened to cool photography and sharing art. To be honest I usually just use Instagram to watch videos of food being prepared and BJJ tutorials! And yet it still made its way to me. So I tapped out. Now I’m not saying im an empath or anything but watching the mental health in the internet world declining wasn’t exactly making me feel the best or like this was something I would benefit from witnessing every single day, especially in a time when my regular communities were being stripped away. I also discovered that everything I liked looking at on Instagram, I could find on the internet anyway. Minus seeing what my friends and family were up to but if you ask me, I prefer it that way. Now we have something better to talk about when catching up.
As for the news and radio – I didn’t see the point. It sounded like the same thing every single day and I figured if something was important enough or seemed foreign, it would make its way to my ears somehow and that was evidently true. I figured what use is it to me hearing repetitive numbers and comparing to yesterday’s? That seems like an odd way to live… an unnatural addition to my routine. So I tapped out. And guess what? I’m still here aren’t I! I’m not dumber because of it. I am not unhappy with not knowing. Quite frankly, I believe that what happens tomorrow, a year from now or any part of my future isn’t any of my business really. I’m OK with not knowing. I can dream, strive and think about my future but I don’t need to know exactly what it entails. Where’s the fun in that! I didn’t know before so why do I need to know now? Especially if it’s the same voices, same statements, same tones – boring. You’re telling me I have a calculated time here on Earth and this is what you want me to spend it doing? No thanks. There are way more exciting things I can do with my time and a gazillion different hobbies to choose from!
My initial intention was to release from the binds of social media until we’re allowed to see each other again but since being off it, I realise theres now no more allocated time to go towards it. I can’t even remember where I could have possibly fit it in my day now. See I like the idea of posting on Instagram. For me, a photo book to look back on one day if you will. So I wouldn’t say I’m off it forever but 3 months without it, I find that I just don’t want to make the time…
I’m sure that’ll change eventually. But like anything, the less you do something, the less you crave it. And in all the times reading and writing, learning and progressing, that would have otherwise been wasted looking at what someone else wanted me to see or calculating how artistically pleasing my next posted photograph would aestheticise my profile would be… its just something I can’t help but think about. Hmph.