A fun little discovery I had last night before falling asleep was that I couldn’t stop thinking about things I would potentially write about. I’ve decided to call this ‘Blogger Brain’. It can’t be a bad thing… And it was a nice change from all the other crap that usually goes on in my head once I’ve hit the sheets. For some reason, milliseconds from falling asleep, my mind likes to go a million miles an hour, no matter how tired I am.
For some reason (that I know is not so wise), I now consider sleep a big waste of my time. I know, its important and I need it so I can recharge to do stuff the following day. But it is just such a huge chunk of time! It’s a whole third of my day. I’m convinced I’m just one of those people that don’t need that much sleep but what gets to me is knowing that although I dont need that much sleep, it will usually take 1-2 hours just to fall asleep so I still need all that time just laying there, doing absolutely nothing productive whatsoever. And usually in this time I’m having every conversation with myself. Like how strange it is being human, how excited I am about life, what kind of things haven’t been invented yet, still in constant fear of wasting my time, then regretting my past mistakes, but also reminding myself to always be living in the moment, then laughing at my past mistakes, and still worried I’m not good enough. And if I haven’t already had an existential crises that day, this is usually the time its piled on. Stupid human brain. The worst worst part is I am most definitely tired during all this. I’m not laying there unable to shut my eyes or have too much energy to be still. Quite the contrary (contrary is one of those words that if I repeat over and over, I’m convinced I made up – hah), I am usually repetitively yawning, eyes itchy and too tired to keep open and yet, nothing… This will probably fix once I’m back home anyway so apologies and rant over.
It’s raining… I think today is a good day to finally use the bathtub…