[and my bedtime routine]
Okay so I’ve been saying for a long while now that I was going to make a post about the do’s and dont’s of psychedelics. I have also been saying that I’ve been working on a couple stories. I have also mentioned repeatedly throughout multiple posts that I seem to struggle with giving these things my full attention. Something that is quite necessary if you want to put something out creatively. Seems like a lot of false promises but I’m hoping by putting it out there enough times, I’ll be true to my word.
So I purposely booked a day time flight for my overseas trip to force me into some isolated period of time where really, I have no excuse but to write. You’re probably wondering why I write if it sounds like a chore. Well it isn’t a chore. I actually really enjoy writing! When I do it. I just struggle to get my laptop open and start. And once I do start, it’s easy to keep it flowing. It’s the same feeling some people get from working out or going to yoga or something like that. You ALWAYS feel good after, it’s always worth it but just getting there is the hardest part. You never regret doing it. Even on my psychedelic trips, its something that I confront myself about and I make my vow that I will in fact be disciplined with it… and then I slowly but surely go back into a lack of a writing routine. I think on a larger scale, I see it as something I can always do later. Not later in the day, but later in life. The stories and thoughts should always be there right? In the back of my mind, just waiting to be laid out. Whereas in this current moment of my life, there’s training to go to, jobs to done around my mums house, money to be made, etc. Like maybe my writing era will come later in life when I can just sit down and chill.
For instance, at this current moment in my life I really enjoy doing jiujitsu. Some may look at it as being super disciplined. I make sure I get to training almost every day of the week and work towards some sort of goal whether it be a competition or super fight or even just as simple as getting better at a move i’ve been working on or a defence for something I keep getting stuck in. But quite frankly, I also just really enjoy it, so it’s easy. My body aches constantly, I have to be in bed at a certain time so I can get to training in the morning feeling fully rested and recovered, and it takes up some time that definitely could be utilised for making money in. BUT that’s easy for me. I am excited to go to training every day. I am excited when I am shown something that i’ve seen a hundred times before but now with a slight twist or a detail I somehow missed, or when a move I’ve been struggling with finally comes into play like a piece of a puzzle finally slotting in nicely. So yeah, some might say that I am just super disciplined and sure, I guess I can see that; but I also just enjoy it and so it’s easy. Maybe I would see myself as being “disciplined” if I were doing something I didn’t want to do, or was forced to do but did it anyway. The fact that I really want to be there makes the body aches, the lack of extra money and early nights to be up for training, easy. Sure there are days when it can feel monotonous, like anything in life but that’s where the sense of community comes in. Something I could not have foreseen. The people I do this amazing thing with. Some, somehow like minded in interests, morales and humour are too, addicted to this crazy sport! That is another driving force in helping to get my ass out of bed and through the door. I’d still love it no matter what and would want to get better at it all the same but something about having these people I regularly see there makes it even more worth while. Yeah yeah, sounds super gay and all but it is what it is. It feels like the camaraderie I imagine soldiers feel when training for war.
So I’ll bring this back to my writing. I enjoy my writing, yes. But I am picturing myself in a season of my life where my writing feels like my jiujitsu. Where I am excited to sit down and type and maybe the rewards are greater than my own self satisfaction. Then there’s also a whole catch 22 in that sense. If the things that are going go make me successful enough to have the luxury of just being able to chill and write and not have to prioritise being somewhere, are going to come from me in fact being successful creatively [unless it happens another way first] then I have to start doing the creative thing that’s going to get me there in the first place!
I’ve stated that I have all these ideas in my head, as well as started projects that I forget to go back to, but I am also aware that “my first draft will be shit” so I also just need to do it. When I do have my little psychedelic interventions, I tell myself that writing just needs to be part of my daily routine. That even though I feel like there’s no time, there’s always time. There’re things in my daily routine that weren’t routine before but I have now made it so. So much so that even if I crash at a friends place over the weekend or travel overseas for multiple days, these routines are solid. For example, I love to read and used to feel cut up about the fact that I never had the time to sit down and read unless I was on holiday or on public transport or something. I also can’t do the whole audiobook thing for several reasons. Not to be pretentious or anything but yes, the feeling of siting down with paper feels nostalgic and just right! I can also go back a word or two if I miss something instead of jumping back 10 seconds, and for someone like myself who can get distracted quite easily by the things around me, having a book allows me to really focus on the words in front of me and escape into the world the writer is painting. There’re too many distractions if my eyes are wondering around my universe. I then also came into the habit of putting my feet up daily. There’re a few benefits of doing this but especially after a day of walking around a tonne, it feels especially good getting the blood back flowing through the top of my body. Now I have also curated a bedtime routine to assist with not only getting good sleep but falling asleep properly. This includes no staring at screens before bed, no eating within an hour of laying down and no harsh overhead lighting. Besides my bathroom light while brushing my teeth and washing my face before bed, I stick to candles and lamps. So I then combined all of these things to create the perfect before bed routine. I put my phone on aeroplane mode, I put my feet up on the headboard and I read a book with a little night light. Every night, no matter what. I now get to enjoy another hobby of mine [reading] daily! So I get to slowly tackle my long bucket list of stories to consume as well as getting myself sleepy and ready for bed. It’s the perfect combo. And while putting my feet up just because I can’t help but multitask and if something is good for me, why not add it in if it takes little effort and makes a difference?
So how can I now add writing in somehow? Finally put pen to paper, or fingers to keypad I should say…